Quarter Life Advice Everything you need to know

18Dec/110

Stop Repelling People

 

We all know those people that just rub us the wrong way. They are the people that you instantly decide you don’t want to deal with, and try to avoid them in the future. The bad part about this is we all do it, and most of the time without even realizing it. Making sure you don’t repel people is an important part of becoming a well-rounded adult. Finding out what you might do to repel people is easy, just pay attention to people’s reactions. People will almost always never be direct enough to tell you what you’re doing that’s putting them off, but their are many tells in their body language. Are they facing away from you, or looking around like they are bored? Do they seem uncomfortable with their proximity to you? The most important step in not repealing people is understanding people’s reaction to you. As you take the time to figure that out, here are a few common mistakes people make without realizing it.

Excessive Talking

Being able to talk to anyone can be as big of an asset as it is a liability. If you fill every possible silence with banter, people could be getting annoyed with you. How are you supposed to influence others if you never give them the chance to speak or even think? Keep your talking in check, and shift the focus to someone else when you feel yourself veering into a ramble.

Humble Brag

Did you make sure to tell everyone at the table your a tattoo artist 100 times? This is trying to show much much you know in a rushed period of time. You might think you have to throw all your cards on the table as soon as you meet someone, but often you come across pretentious at best and threatening at the worst.  What you’re essentially doing is listing all the reasons someone should want to be your friend, failing to realize you must give people the time and space to form their own opinion. Being pushy just comes across as obnoxious.

Making Yourself At Home

Everyone will have a sense of hospitality if you find yourself in their personal living area, but you have to remember to not take advantage of this. Moving things around or touching everything can really upset a person and they would never even help you. If it’s your first time at someones house they probably won’t appreciate you borrowing any clothes.

Personal Space

This means someones bubble. Don’t stand or talk to close to someone, as this can be very off-putting depending on the context.  Use the context to establish boundaries, such as a desk or a table. Make sure you don’t cross into someones established territory or you could quickly loose control of the situation.
Mistakes like these can take you off guard because people won’t tell you why they are being repelled. People will lie to you to spare hurting your feelings, then just avoid future contact with you. It’s important to remember how others perceive us, and it has almost nothing to do with who we are, but how they relate to us.

 

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