Quarter Life Advice Everything you need to know

How to Make a Small Room Look Bigger

If you have a small, cramped room in your house that people actually see or experience on a frequent basis, then you know how frustrating it can be to be inside a cave within your own how. We all love having large rooms to breathe in, but the fact is that sometimes the square footage just isn't there. Rather than complaining about what you have to work with, you can employ a few different techniques to maximize the openness of the space. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Light Wall Colors

Anytime you put a dark color on the wall like navy blue or a deep maroon, you make the walls around you heavy. While this bold look may work for a great room, all it does to a small space is make it feel even more like a cave. You need to stick with light, airy colors for your walls so that the room has a sense of relief, rather than weight. Light yellows, beiges, and blues all fare well in most homes, depending on the context, of course. If you can pick the right paint color for your room, you will make it look much bigger than it really is.

Stripes

If you don't know this, the simple addition of stripes in your clothing can make you look taller or wider, depending on if they are vertical or horizontal. You can get the same effect with stripes on your walls. Vertical stripe will make your walls look taller if you have an issue with height, and horizontal stripes will make a room look wider if that's the problem. Be careful here though. Too many stripes could make the room busy, and when you have a small space to work with, you want to eliminate as much clutter as possible. Keep it simple and maintain the light color choices throughout.

Light Ceilings

Make sure that your ceiling is a lighter shade than your walls because that will really help open the room up. White or slightly off white ceilings are usually the best and should pair well with anything you paint the walls. Also be leery of excessive texture on the ceiling. Try to keep things minimal so you don't add an extra layer of enclosure to an already tight space. This will make a big difference in the way you feel when you are in the room.

Mirrors

The addition of mirrors can vastly improve the feel in a small space because of the reflection. For one, more light is able to bounce around because of the mirrors, thereby making it feel lighter already. Mirrors also reflect additional space in the room, even if it doesn't exist. Your mind will feel like it's in a bigger space when it really isn't. If you can find a tasteful way to do a full wall of mirrors, that could be an excellent source of openness.

Minimalistic, Multi-Purpose Furniture

Clutter is a small space's worst enemy. Avoid that at all costs. You want to keep your furniture small, simple, and clutter free. Only put in what you need to, and if you can find ways to get multiple purposes out of one piece, you'll save a lot of room. For instance, you might have a padded, long chest that can act as a bench, a storage area, and a coffee table with the addition of a tray on top. One piece can do three different things. You can make a desk that folds up onto a wall and looks like a piece of artwork until you're ready to use it, or you could have a couch that pulls out into a bed for guests. Get creative with your furnishings and always keep maximum function in minimal space in mind.

Securing Your Future by Age 25

By the time you reach your early 20s, you should have a pretty good idea of where you are going in life. That doesn't mean that you have to have a fool proof plan, but you need to have a rough idea as to where you want to be in the future. A lot of what you do now will have an impact on what happens 50 years from now or more, so you have to make wise decisions as soon as you reach adulthood. You don't want to be one of those people that looks back at his or her life and sees nothing but regrets, do you? Didn't think so. Let's take a look at some of the steps you can go through to secure you future by the time you reach 25 years of age.

Get a College Degree

One of the best things you can do when you are young is get a college degree. Having a college degree will give you a chance to find work in the future, even if it isn't in something you want to do right now. If you can't think of a degree that you would like to get, you could always pursue a business administration degree. That will give you a generic set of skills that you can use to work in just about any company in the future, including your own. Most people don't end up in the direct career that follows their college degree program, but they stay pretty close to it. If you have a college level education, you will at least be able to apply for jobs with confidence in the future.

Don't Settle for Entry-Level

The moment you get content with an entry-level position in a business is the moment that you screw over your future. This kind of position is not going to provide you with the money you need to retire later on in life, which is something you need to plan for as soon as possible. My mother is 50 years old, and she has virtually no retirement savings to fall back on over the next decade. I can't tell you how many times she has told me to plan for retirement now because I will regret not doing it later. If you remain at the lowest tier of your career, you will never have the retirement fund you want when you get older.

Set Long Term Goals

Most people under the age of 25 focus on their day to day goals, and maybe the goals for the week or month. They don't reach out years down the road and think about their long term plans. You need to strongly consider where you want to be in five years, and then you need to adjust your short term goals to make that happen. If you don't have a path to follow, you will never know how to prepare for the future.

You may see your entire life in front of you at this point, but there is less time left in life than you realize. As soon as you accept the fact that your best years are flying by, you should be able to figure out a way to secure your future by age 25. I'm barely 22, and I already have a great career, a husband, and a solid plan for my future. Isn't it about time you did the same in your own life? Follow the steps above, and you will hopefully be on your way to a rewarding future soon enough.

You’re Not Crazy

Some people come across very aloof. They make it seem like they are 100% in tune with what they want, and how they perceive the world, and depending on their personality, can make you question the way you view your own world. This isn't inherently a bad thing, but you can never let them make you question your sanity by giving them too much control over your reality. Just because someone thinks the way you're handling a situation isn't great doesn't mean you should feel bad for feeling that way. You didn't invent the whole thing in your mind, and you are reacting appropriately to outside stimuli, even if it doesn't line up with someone elses. Never let anyone un-justify your feelings, and likewise be sure you never dismiss them outright. We feel and do things for a reason, and there is always a lesson to be learned.  It takes at least two to tango.

Remember that even if you misread every part of a particular situation, it's not all you. In fact it has nothing to do with you. Human beings are incredibly susceptible to vague, since it allows our imaginations to run wild. As we get older that wilderness can seem overwhelming, looming over us waiting to swallow us whole. The best and only way to proceed is to be aware of your presence, and know what kind of person you want to be. Just because you think weaknesses doesn't mean you have to translate those into weak actions. Thoughts and ideas are just that, and nothing happens until it happens. This way, no matter what happens, at least you can look back and say you did everything the way you wanted, and have no regrets for any of your actions. Guilt and regret are useless emotions, and as the sole keeper of yours, you have total control over how you allow them to affect your life.

Your Thoughts Are Not You.

Inner peace can be hard to find, especially when your thoughts are running at a million miles a minute. You worry about how to become an artist, your boyfriend, your dog, your job, your car... the list of things to worry about is literally endless.  Think of a time you were completely at peace, inside and out. I bet you wen't thinking of too much. Happiness comes from when you have conquered your thoughts of the what are and what if's in your life.  Control of your thoughts, and being able to shut them off when they are not needed is a huge asset to anyone, but it's obviously easier said than done.  Sometimes you just have to tell your brain to shut up. No more should you float though the day lost in less than productive thoughts. Being able to shut off the mind and focus only on one thing is a challenge to say the least, but the best way to begin is learning to shut off your thoughts completely. The first step to getting rid of an unwanted habit is to be aware of it. This alone doesn't rid you of unwanted behavior but it's a great start. You must always remember you are not your thoughts, ideas or beliefs. They are tools you can use, but they are NOT you, so you should never let them control you. To everyone else in the world, you are your actions first, then your words. Take a moment to remember that NOBODY can read your mind, and if you're anything like me, the elusive nature of your own thoughts is just a big of mystery to you as they are to everyone else.  Once you spend enough time being aware of your thoughts to shut them off, you'll also become aware of the words that you use, and how you can control every one of them, thus controlling people's outward perception of you, and who couldn't use a little more control of that in their lives?  A trick I like to use to shut my thoughts off is to ask myself "what will my next thought be?", it gives me just the right amount of reality to regain control of my thoughts and emotions so no situation is too overwhelming. Also, never panic, ever.

Going With The Flow

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know, I know, going with the flow is much easier said than done, but that being said, so is everything. Spending your time filled with anxiety of the future is one of the most horrible way you can live your life. Getting annoyed with lines, traffic, obligations, and separation anxiety are all self-destructive, non-productive feelings. The first thing you have to learn to do is be present in the moment. Right now in front of you, this very second, this is your life. You can’t change the past and you can’t anticipate the future with any amount of certainty. Try to take each moment as it comes at you, and let it soak in. Are you safe? Are you tired? Are you Hungry? You will be amazed at what your body will tell you if you only listen.

It’s silly to believe you must be present at ALL times, or say that you will NEVER think of the past or future again, but being present in the NOW will make all of the thoughts about the latter brighter. All you can do with the future is effect it in the present, and often in will change the future in ways we could never have anticipated. You must learn to “roll with the punches” rather than worry about how much they are going to hurt. Another thing we do by not living in the present is miss out on all kinds of things that are happening right in front of you. There is a whole world going on right now, and you can’t waste all your time worrying about ones that don’t or no longer exist.  The time is literally now. What are you up to?

How To Not Stay Put

Are you a chronic procrastinator? Do you shop for presents at the last minute, file your taxes late, and sometimes start projects at the very end of a deadline? Everyone likes achieving their goals, but having goals and achieving them are two different things. For example, you might want to slim down, but can never bring yourself to run, or you might want to save money, but end up eating out every night. You have to understand that less than ideal circumstances now, if done for the right reasons, lead to more than ideal circumstances in the future.

If Not Now, When?

We all know how “tomorrow” consistently turns into “never”. If you keep putting things off for another day, you’ll never realize anything. People tend to look at themselves as static, incorrectly thinking that if something is true now, it must always be true. For example, having a perpetually messy room and saying it’s just part of your personality. This just isn't the case. You are a culmination of all the decisions you’ve made so far in your life, and are still making choices. The one thing we have control over as humans is our choices, what we do and say is 100% in our control.

Procrastination

Everyone knows what this is, as it’s often turned into a funny joke, allowing people to latch on and justify their own inaction. The anxiety spent on not doing something is often more of an energy drain that actually doing the thing you’re putting off, leaving you with nothing to run on when you actually decide to get started. Action is your ally against procrastination. Contemplation has value, but if you never act on it, it’s wasted mental energy.

Stop Repelling People

We all know those people that just rub us the wrong way. They are the people that you instantly decide you don’t want to deal with, and try to avoid them in the future. The bad part about this is we all do it, and most of the time without even realizing it. Making sure you don’t repel people is an important part of becoming a well-rounded adult. Finding out what you might do to repel people is easy, just pay attention to people’s reactions. People will almost always never be direct enough to tell you what you’re doing that’s putting them off, but their are many tells in their body language. Are they facing away from you, or looking around like they are bored? Do they seem uncomfortable with their proximity to you? The most important step in not repealing people is understanding people’s reaction to you. As you take the time to figure that out, here are a few common mistakes people make without realizing it.

Emotional Control

Safe or Sorry

Balancing Act

     The key to long term success has always been someones ability to balance all of the forces in their lives. It is a delicate act to align all of these important factors,with deliberate choices and unlearning bad habits abound. People often lay the blame outside themselves, making up excuses for why something in their life isn’t going the right way. I can tell you that 99% of the time, this just isn’t true. Life has a big picture, but must be broken down into specific segments to accomplish our goals, and it all starts with being able to look within and have a discussion with yourself about what you need. So take a look at these areas in your life, and see what improvements you can start making.

Financial
This is a crucial part of your life to have under control. If you can’t you can’t meet your basic needs, then no part of your life can start coming together. Maybe you need to find a way to get more money; though more often than not, you just need to be more deliberate with what you already have. Having a budget can really help you get this part of your life under control. Remember, it’s not about what you’ve accumulated, but how useful the things you have actually are.
.
Physical.
Stop making excuses. Everyone needs to be exercising and staying in tune with what’s going on with their bodies, since you obviously need it to do anything.

Emotional
Having control of your emotions is the most difficult and most important skill to master. Good luck with this one. Don’t let the bad feelings control your life or that’s all you’ll get out of the world. There’s really no time to waste on your unproductive way of thinking, so it’s best to just. get. over. it.

Intellectual
Duh. Knowledge is bullets and power is the gun. Arm yourself, yo. A new online degree perhaps?

Spiritual
God, The God Within. Universal calling. Whatever you want to call it, it’s the key to tapping into all your potential. Get right with whatever motivates you to be you, and let the good vibrations begin.

Social
Social relationships are our greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses. Don’t spend time thinking about the things that have no actual value to you, and realise that everyone else is people too.

Nobody can have all of these parts of their lives in total order at all times, but striving to is what brings out our very best. It's time to start proving to yourself what you're actually capable of, and live the life you want.

Stranger Danger!

Why do we feel that if someone expresses interest in us, it must be for sinister reasons? Our society has taken this thought to overkill. We should be afraid of everything we don't know, and are lead to believe as children that at least half our Halloween candy is either stuffed with a razor blade center or dipped in antifreeze. The truth is most people are as in need of a friendly conversation as you are. Everyone deals with the "ice" of general society that must be broken before you can really start getting to know anyone. Fear not! You too can undo the damage and come to realize that sometimes strangers in fact have the very best candy.

Everyone Has A Story To Tell

We are tribal creatures, as such we want to protect our food, women and children from outside danger.  This means anyone or anything we don’t already know and understand. This only effects us as far as that initial spark of anxiety we feel, or the so called "ice" we have to break.  There is so much you can learn from people you don’t know. Everyone lives their lives and sees the world in a different sense. Taking the time to experience someone else’s perspective gives you insight you would otherwise never get.  Everyone is a person with their own set of insecurities, goals, hopes and dreams. There is nobody who is above a conversation with a new person. Anyone who thinks they are too good to learn something new from someone new isn't worth your time. Even their rejection or rudeness is packed full of lessons to learn. You don't need a degree in forensic psychology to know people all do very different things for the same reasons. Knowing someone else's motivations has a lot to do with what they say, but their is as much wisdom in what they don't say. All of this comes with time, the hard part is breaking the ice.

Dealing With Rejection

Most of the time, this is going to have nothing to do with you personally, so it's important to not take it personally. If it was your fault, you can rest assured that it wasn't you they rejected, it was your approach and behavior. What can you learn from this? Did you come off too pushy? Could your personal apperance be better? Chances are it's solely on the other person. Maybe you caught them at the wrong time, maybe they have had a negative experience in this particular place, or perhaps they are a huge mess of insecurities and defense mechanisms. Remember that every interaction is an opportunity to learn about yourself and the world around you, so rejection is just as important as making a successful connection.

The Art Of Small Talk

Small talk is the first step of meeting anyone new. You should try and take an actual interest in what people are saying, not only because it’s polite but also an important step in judging their interest.  Eye contact and smiling are key. Think of things you could say to initiate conversation, a simple "hello" usually suffices. This should be followed by an honest compliment. If you notice something remarkable, say something about it! Honest flattery will get you everywhere, and people can tell if you're just making something up because you can't think of anything better to say. Try to find things you both have in common to help conversation flow more naturally. If they are giving short, one word answers even when you’re asking open ended questions, they may not be very interested. Don't fret, and remember where most rejection comes from. Just excuse yourself, and find someone else to talk to. This might seem like the worst case scenario, but I promise you will not die.  You might find yourself feeling anxious and awkward the first few times, but this will fade. As with everything, practice makes perfect, and if you can conquer your own initial fear you will be shocked at how quickly talking to new people no longer fills you with that paralyzing dread.

There is no step by step list of how to converse with strangers. As with most things it's about looking inside yourself and letting go of whatever fear and reservations you've been holding onto. Being a nervous insecure wreck is no way to travel through life, and since we only get this one shot at it, living with regret and fear shouldn't even be an option. So get out there and start showing people all the great things you have to offer!